Warning: there's no 'swearing' or nudity or anything I would consider gratuitous content in the video below. By 'below', I mean the bottom video, not the one of me scandelously stripping an apple of its skin... There is, however, in said bottom video, conversation which is a bit of sex humor at a party of mostly doctors and/or public health workers who see a parade of male and female genitalia on a daily basis. So be warned before reading further.
My friend and roommate, Sarah, and I decided to host a 'dinner & haircut' party last night. At first, I thought it would be a total dud and didn't even really want to be involved. When I came home for the evening, I was exhausted and just wanted to focus on writing and made moves to hide in my room. Then Sarah came home and, like her timid cat, Cliff - who spent the first half of his life on the street and has learned to flee in the face of almost anything, because almost anything looks and feels like danger - I crept out of my room and sat down at the bar between the dining room and the kitchen. Sarah's friend, Anna had come over and was helping to cut up veges for the dinner part of the dinner & haircut. After about ten minutes of sitting and chatting, I said, "So is there something I can do to help? I'm just sort of sitting here like a stump while the women do all the moving. I'm feeling like one of those ridiculous, helpless men..."
"Ooh, well, I was going to skip the apple crisp but you can do that," Sarah said and pulled a bag of apples from the refrigerator.
'Oh, goody,' I thought. 'I've volunteered to friggin peel apples. My favorite.' Have you ever peeled apples with a hand peeler? It's excruciating. Reluctantly, I got up and rounded the corner to the kitchen.
"And I have this nifty toy for the job." Sarah opened the top cupboard and pointed to a box.
The top cupboard is a little high for her so I reached and pulled the box down. We took the apples and the box into the dining room and she pulled it out. "See." It was an apple corer and peeler.
It has a base with suction cups and a little lever that tightens the suction action to whatever surface you're using. In this case, it was the dining room table. Then you just take an apple and stab its core into the four-pronged do-hicky and then turn the lever. It cores, peels, AND slices the apple right in front of your very eyes. And in about seven seconds! I was in heaven.
"How many apples do we need?" I asked as I played with my nifty newfound apple-peeler-corer-slicer toy.
"Oh, let's just see how many apples you do."
"Hmmm." I laughed. "Don't say that. This thing is genius. I'll stand here and send apples through until rapture if you let me."
Here's a little demo, which I filmed with my iPhone:
After filling a bowl, I scattered the apples into the casserole dish and then sprinkeled them with cinnamen and cloves. I took a stick of butter and cut it into a mix of brown and white sugar and some other goodies and spread that on top. Voila! Into the oven with you, apple crisp!
"This is going to cure me of my cooking anxiety," I said as I shut the oven door.
"When I was a kid I loved to cook. Then I dated a chef and sort of took the back seat because 'the chef' was so much better at cooking than I was."
"Ah. That's sad," Sarah said. "You should have cooked together."
"Yes, well that's a whole different story."
She looked at me and smiled.
There was talk about Anna and her fiance. There was talk about kissing. Not regular kissing. Vagina kissing. I didn't catch all the details amid much laughter and a slight ringing in my ears. You'd think growing up surrounded by eight sisters would prepair me for female sex talk. This is both true and very much the opposite of true. I still feel like an idiot and am not sure when I've said not enough or have gone too far as is, perhaps, illustrated in this very post and in the video below...
"But, Anna, I thought I heard you and Sarah kissing when you came in tonight." I said dryly. They laughed.
Sarah reenacted. "Oh, hello! So nice to see you, Anna!" Then she sent kissing sounds across the room.
Other guests arrived. Taylor Rose, Angie & Tim, Nicole (our upstairs neighbor), and Dana. We had brussel sprouts and ratatoiulle and couscous with corn and cherry tomatoes and herbs. It was a fabulous meal. Of course, later, we ate my apple crisp. I will add that Dena, our hair stylist, actually picked up the cassarole dish and spooned out every last crumb at the end of the crisp.
The desert was a success. The evening was a success.
Here's a little snippet of silly, bawdy talk after dinner. I'm curious to know if you think the conversation is funny, ridiculous, a bit of inappropriate blog sharing... boring...juvenile... Whatever it is, it IS part of the world I live in now.
This is my FIRST attempt at video with my Nikon: