Grafted Add-On
Knit One Purl Two: Or A New (York) Year


Dame Judi

I got a text from K late last night or early this morning depending on how you look at it.  She wanted to see a 'morning flick' today.  K was angling for LINCOLN, but I wasn't into it.  She also mentioned the new Bond film.

"That's the one," I said.  

I'd read the opening was very artsy and sexy and everyone who's seen it, loved the movie.

Honestly I've never been a big 007 guy, but I am a huge Dench man.

"Dame Judi is a sexy (expletive deleted)!" I leaned over and whispered to K when she first appeared on screen.  I mean, I realize she's in her late seventies but I would not hesitate to give her mouth to mouth if she were in need.  That's right, you heard me.

I also love that they've adopted the term 'Mum' in place of 'Sir.'  

"Yeah, I'm yer Mum," says Dame Judi and scans you up and down.  "Now get after it or I'll shoot you in the head."

Of course I know I'm being snarkily lascivious.  It's a blog post not a proposal.  I like Judi Dench.  She's cool.  Full stop.

Another thing about Dame Dench is her eyes.  We're sort of 'twins' in that sense.  I have RP (that's Retinitis Pigmentosa to you) which I inherited from my mother and Judi has Macular Degeneration which she says she inherited from hers.  She seems to be pretty open about the whole thing.

I hate it.  I hate having to latch onto someone or basically crawl at a snail's pace through dark movie theatres or most restaurants at night.  I hate not being able to drive at night (legally I still can, but don't) and being careful about certain dark streets.  It's one thing I do love about living in NY.  I don't need a car and most streets are lit.  At least the ones I go down on any regular basis.  But even some stair wells descending into the subway are murky and require slow, deliberate movements to traverse.  Low light situations are bad news for people with RP.

The worst part is the stage.  I've shied away from seriously persuing stage acting because I just can't see (expletive deleted) in the dark.  I would be dead or mortally wounded after the first run.  Even in college it was a problem.  I remember on one show I also had to help with the set and I was supposed to lower a chandelier for a scene.  After several near-miss moments, they ended up putting about two miles worth of glow tape on the rope so I didn't crush someone down below.  Some secret part of me would have enjoyed crushing you with a hurtling chandelier.  So very Phantom of the Opera of me.  Again; snarkily lascivious.  It's how I roll.  The show was fun, no one was hurt and all was well.  Not that I haven't had my share of 'chandelier-dropping' moments.  That show wasn't one of them.

Judi Dench seems to have some of the same issues but she's a sexy famous (expletive deleted) so everyone pitches in to help.  She gets people to read the scripts for her and I'm sure there is always at least one person to take her arm if the lights get low.  She says she's determined not to let it get the best of her.  That's the spirit - I like that attitude.

Which brings me to a Bond spoiler so if you haven't seen it and don't want to know, go back now before it's too late.

I knew instinctively when the movie opened that Dame Judi, otherwise known as 'M', would not make it out of the movie alive.  "Oh, they're going to kill off M."  I mouthed this to myself and watched it all unfold.  I like that Ralph Fienes is picking up the franchise for her but he ain't no Judi, know what I'm sayin.  Sorry Ralph.  You're good.  But you're not THAT good.

Anyhoo it was a fun film and Judi died and Jason cried and then I came out into the bright sunlit Saturday in the city.  It's been a gorgeous day.  An easy-to-get-around kind of day.  Light.  I love light.

I will miss you as 'M', Dame Judi.  If I know anything about you, I need not fear you'll find some other enlightening, sexy b, parts to play.  The 'M' ship has sailed.  Bring on a new letter, eh.